The start of my downfall.

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Let it die

I probably already posted this but whatever.

"The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start"

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Expired Milk

Sometimes in life, in order to get to the desired destination we need to take risks. But there's this question that pops up in our minds, is it worth it? The bigger the risks the greater the reward, right? I've always questioned myself. I would over think the situation. I would end up not doing anything; not taking the risk. But I always look back and wonder what if this is that happened? What if my predictions were true?

I look back and regret those times. It's better to know whats real than wondering what if after wards. Sometimes in order to get to where you want to be, you need to make mistakes. Even if you know that the odds are against you. It's better knowing than wondering. Life is full of mistakes. We learn from our mistakes, that's how we get stronger. Mistakes aren't stupid, they're a part of life; it happens to everyone. So in the end, life is made up of mistakes. It's what makes us, us.

"Is this milk still good?"
(Drinks milk)
"Aw gross, why didn't you tell me this is expired?"
"Why didn't you throw it out?"


Come on, make the mistake. It might be the best mistake you ever made.

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Relient K - Must Have Done Something Right

We should get jerseys cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealously, they can see that we've got it going on


And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're OK with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen


If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good cause
cause I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right
I must've done something right


Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on


And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're OK with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen


If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good
cause I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right
I must've done something right


If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good
cause I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right

I must've done something right

I must've done something right

I must've done something right

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Trust

Because of you, I can no longer trust anyone. I want to so bad to trust someone but it doesn't work that way. There's no proof only suspicion. Fake laughs, fake smiles, and broken promises all lead to sweet sweet betrayal. I'm constantly confused on what to do. I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I don't even know where I am anymore, my worlds upside down. I appear to be happy but you don't see the tears I share with my pillow. I can no longer get my hopes up because I know they will crash down like a tower with a weak foundation. I never experienced this in such a high abundance. Next time you see me, I'll still be picking up the pieces. Pretending to be fine hurts like a bitch because you know/I know I'm not.

Sometimes you do the things you say you wouldn't do. Sometimes you give it all. Sometimes you grant the person the ability to shatter you. Sometimes in order to get stronger you have to hurt a little. In the end, the only person you can trust is yourself.

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Where's the answers?

Everything is messed up nowadays. I can't sleep, I have no appetite, I have no motivation, and I have no answers to why I am feeling like this. I hate how I am.

Another dilemma is that I'm still unsure on what to do in the future, career wise. I'm doing okay in school. I could try harder if I was actually passionate about the stuff I am learning, but I'm not. Yeah yeah, I know, I'm young and I have a lot of time to figure myself out right?

What I'm realizing is that everyone goes through this. It's a life experience. But my question is, why am I only experiencing the questions? Where's the answers? I guess that's another life experience to go through.

Anyways, bye.

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Mozella- Let's Stop Calling it Love

we are exactly what we are
let's disregard the talk of we're at and where we're going
Why pick it all apart
Its Just My heart
its just my heart

i started out with so much hope
but now its turned into a joke
I'll play along expect no promise
but while were at it let's be honest

let's stop calling it love
let's stop calling it love
You're better off if i surrender
i give in you win whatever

let's stop calling it love
let's stop calling it love
Let it go you'll feel much better
i give in you win whatever

you know, you put on quite a show
you had me so
i can't believe i bought it
it took a minute but i caught it now
i guess i had a choice
boys will be boys, and this girl's annoyed

i started out with so much hope
but now its turned into a joke
I'll play along expect no promise
but while were at it let's be honest

let's stop calling it love
let's stop calling it love
You're better off if i surrender
i give in you win whatever

let's stop calling it love
let's stop calling it love
Let it go you'll feel much better
i give in you win whatever

I thought i could handle
a nice romantic scandal
but now i know i was fooling myself
i've seen how this story ends
we do not call ourselfs friends
i'd rather not pretend and use that word again

"talking"
(so he says, 'uh can i call you back later' so i said uh ok, 'alright later' and that was it)

let's stop calling it love
let's stop calling it love
You're better off if i surrender
i give in you win whatever

let's stop calling it love
let's stop calling it love
Let it go you'll feel much better
i give in you win you win you win

(making noises)

lets stop calling it love
lets stop calling it love
i give in you win whatever

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Where do your thoughts go?

Have you ever stared at a campfire? I know you have. You just lose your self in the bright and warm flame. You feel your eyes slowly getting sore. But you're sucked by the depths of the fire. You lose all awareness. And you just stare there thinking and listening to whoever you are accompanied by. Feels like the weight of the world is off your shoulder; nothing exists to distract you. You can speak freely without feeling somewhat embarrassed or ashamed. You can pour your heart out to the fire and it will melt your sorrow away. The fire changes you and purifies you. And you stare and stare into the epicenter of the fire. And at that moment, you are at peace.


That's where I want to be.

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I find it kind of weird how things turn out. It's like you never expect it to be like this. "You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me." I don't usually relate my experiences with movies but that movie = life story. I'm a sap, expressing to states of human emotions. Blending happiness and sadness into one word.

KK I really need to sleep soon, but to make a long story short.

Life throws unexpected curve balls at you. Some are good, some not so good. But you should withhold every second until you know, you know that this is how it's meant to be. Sometimes, you just know. You just have to let life run its course.

Tom: Did you ever even have a boyfriend?

Summer: Of course.

Tom: What happened, why didn’t they work out?

Summer: What always happens? Life.

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Dreams

What do they mean?

Everyone has wondered what dreams mean. There's no real facts about what they truly mean and why we have them. Dreams have a different meaning to different people. We live in an universe where everyone has they're frame of reference and opinions. Each individual respond to a situation differently. We all have different experiences. SO...... dreams?

I always thought dreams meant something, even if it's random. But I usually forget my dreams really quickly after I wake up. Don't you hate that? Where you want to remember your dream but you can't. Some I want to remember because it seemed really important. I never dreamed of something twice. I've dreamed of something similar but never the same.

I believe dreams is your subconscious trying you tell you something. Or (I found this on a website) "Dreams are unique to each individual, and dream imagery is an accumulation of each individual’s experiences, memories and feelings throughout life."

You can't control what you dream. Some of my dreams makes me realize the obvious. I always wish my dreams would come true, but it never does. That's why I don't like my dreams sometime. I feel like there's a personal meaning behind my dreams. And I try to interpret what they mean. What do you think? Dreams, nothing or something?






PS. My mind never stops thinking about you.

"I know you feel it too, it all seems so untrue."
Tegan and Sara

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Numb

It's been week after week.
Bad news after another.
Things just aren't getting better.
Still I am living.
Living like there's nothing to look forward to when I wake up.
Knowing what my day is going to consist of.
Every night is the same.
I lie awake staring in the darkness just
thinking,
over and over.
I wake up right before my alarm,
as if my mind knows.
Knows the daily routine.
I just lie there.
Feeling numb.

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Like a star

Love this song, reminds me of you
*Lyrics

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Honour to love you

Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look I can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is au fait,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh...
Your love,

Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Now I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands

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Don't live for the past or future, live for now

Whatever goes through my heart and skull, I can't control.

The intentions of being with someone and realizing that it's best to let be.

Learning to accept, accepting to learn

Noticing the value of friendship is greater than everything.

Understanding that every situation is the same. And that I don't want to "Part of the list".

To act from your heart and express what you feel freely.

You act from a position of love, there is nothing to do. All your actions are expressions of your being.

Can't choose who you fall in love with.

You.

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meekaaa

Best neighbor ever.

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Theres a light that never goes out

Friends come in go into my life. I'm sure it happens to everyone of us. But there's a time when you're tired of all of that, where you just want some real friends who will always be there with you. After high school, you realize who you're real friends are. And who you want in your life. Some may reveal themselves as a potential all time best friend soul mates and you don't have to put a ring on it friendship, but it ends up in disappointment. And some come to a surprise to you when they reveal it. That's when you want to grasp it in your hand and never let it go. And that's what I really need, want, should have, kind of friendship.

I was blind at first, but now I see it. It's funny because you were here all along.

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I feel it in my bones

*lyrics

blow by blow, i didn't see it coming
blow by blow, sucker punch
rushes in, here to stay
rushes in, you are here to stay
what rushes into my heart and my skull
i can't control, think about it
feel it in my bones
what rushes into my heart and my skull
i can't control

Chorus
i feel you in my bones
you're knocking at my windows
you're slow to lettin me go
and i know this feeling oh, so
this feeling in my bones

left hook, I didn't see it comin
left hook, you've got dead aim
rushes out, run away
rushes out, you always run away
what rushes into my heart and my skull
i can't control, think about it
feel it in my bones
what rushes into my heart and my skull
i can't control

Chorus
i feel you in my bones
you're knocking at my windows
you're slow to letting me go
and i know this feeling oh, so
this feeling in my bones

i feel you in my bones
you're knockin at my windows
you're slow to letting me go
and i know this feeling oh, so
this feeling in my bones

i feel it in my bones
and then my skull feels pressure
i feel it in my bones
i feel it in my skull

Chorus
i feel you in my bones
you're knocking at my windows
you're slow to letting me go
and i know this feeling oh so
this feeling in my bones

i take a breath, take a breath
with me blow by blow anekatips.com
take a break, take a break from you
you are here to stay
i take my heart out of my chest
i just don't need it anymore
take my hand up again
i just don't need it anymore
(repeat)

Chorus
i feel you in my bones
you're knocking at my windows
you're slow to letting me go
and i know this feeling oh so
this feeling in my bones

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'Love hard when there is love to be had'

"You aren't going to be her first, her last, or her only. She's loved before, she will love again, but if she loves you now what else matters? Shes not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if she can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. She isn't going to quote poetry, shes not thinking about you every moment, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you could break. Don't hurt her, don't change her, don't expect more than she can give. Don't analyze. Smile when she makes you happy, yell when she makes you mad, and miss her when shes not there. Love hard when there is love to be had."



Lyrics

And if I could swim
I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating
in the dark.
And if was blessed
I walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving
Sunken chest.
'Cause they chose you
As the model
For their empty little dreams.
With your new head
And your legs spread
Like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you
And they gut you
And you give in.

And if I was brave
I'd climb up to you on the mountain.
They led you to drink from their fountain
Spouting lies.
And I'd slay
The horrible beast they commissioned
To steer me away from my mission
To your eyes,
And I'd stand there
Like a soldier
With my foot upon his chest.
With my grin spread
And my arms out
In my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And you'd hold me
I'd remind you
Who you are...
Under their shell..

I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Through hell for you
Let the torturing ensue.
My soul is useless without you

And if they sent a whirlwind,
I'd hug it like a harmless little tree.
Or an earthquake,
I'd calm it,
And I'd bring you back to me,
And I'd hold you
In my weak arms like a first born.

I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Through hell for you
Let the torturing ensue.
My soul is useless without you (through hell for you)

(through hell for you) without you
Without you (through hell for you)
Without you (through hell for you)

Now, I've walked through hell for you,
What's an adventurer to do
But rest these feet at home with you

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Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

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Stuff I want back

It's been a while since I blogged. I don't really have any motivation to blog anymore. I'm such a downer but no one will really understand. Anyways it's been almost two months since I started school. I must say it's not easy at all. My bad decisions are kicking my in my ass right now. Or maybe the world is trying to sabotage my life. Hahaha... yeah.. I was going into a mid term thinking that I know everything. Well actually.. I did, most of it. I just didn't get my work and that really killed my marks. I didn't have enough time to revise my work. I got perfect on the hardest part because I actually looked over it. And I got crappy marks on the easier part, which sucks! But anyways it's over and done with and I guess I'll have to deal with it. I'll do better on the next one.

Lately, I've been a depressed son of a btch. I have a lot of things in my head and I just can't handle it all. Like the sense of something missing. I think it is because I haven't touched my hobbies in a while, skating and photography. Someone said to me,"When I hear someone say that something is missing, I usually think it's a boyfriend or girlfriend." You know what, I really don't know. But what I know is that when I think of having someone, it will just build up more stress and problems. It's not like I have a problem, it's just making something out of nothing and it totally sucks. This is when I usually dream about the past. Back in the day when I was a kid again.

K let me tell you a little story. Back when I was living in the Philippines, my dad had a shotgun. He would go out in the patio and shoot birds in the air. Then I would go fetch him the dead bird. It's cruel but I loved it when he actually hit it and I would fetch it for him. I think it's human nature to think that violence is entertaining. Anyways, one day I woke up earlier than everyone else. Oh yeah I forgot to tell you that I was probably around 5-6 at this time. So you know how we children were. Well for me, I was really curious on how things work. So when I am curious I want to figure things out. So the shotgun was against the wall; standing on the butt. And I walked up to it and guess what I did? I pulled the trigger. It went off. Thank god there were no shells in it, only gun powder. I woke up the whole house. I thought it was so cool but I got in deep shit for it, haha. Seriously I could of hurt my self.

Man, I always lie on my bed late at night just thinking. It has become a daily occurrence. Sometimes I just lie there for hours and I become frustrated with my self because I have to sleep! Maybe I'm holding on the past too much but hey, can't a man dream? What I really miss is, you're going to think I'm so gay but whatever, I miss being happy. I don't remember the last time I was truly happy. But this I realized recently, you choose to be happy. Actually a friend of mine told me that. I just seems like once things are good, eventually that feeling will get shot down like one of those birds my dad killed. I'm not an emo ass mother sucker, I'm just frustrated. May think it's stupid, but that's life right? I mean who here had a time where they felt frustrated? Yeah I thought so. It's just my time. So for now, I'll just deal with it, suck it up. Let it be and whatever happens, happens. Right? Yeah. I'm on my pursuit trail to happiness. =)

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Pursuit of happiness

Life story..... for reals.


Lyrics =

VERSE 1:

Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin’ lit feelin’ light, 2 am summer night.
I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin drunk, I'm doin’ my thing
Rollin the Midwest side and out livin’ my life getting’ out dreams
People told me slow my road I'm screaming out fuck that
Imma do just what I want lookin’ ahead no turnin’ back
if I fall if I die know I lived it to the fullest
if I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bullets

CHORUS

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.

VERSE 2:

Tell me what you know about dreamin’ dreamin’
you don't really know about nothin’ nothin’
tell me what you know about them night terrors every night
5 am, cold sweats wakin’ up to the skies
tell me what you know about dreams, dreams
tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin’
you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow
rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

CHORUS:

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good


CHORUS:

I'm on the pursuit of happiness. I know everything that shines ain't always gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good

CHORUS:

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah, I'll be good

I'm on the pursuit of happiness
And I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah
I'll be good

Pursuit of happiness, yeah
I don’t get it, I’ll be good

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One of them days

Lyrics

It's just one of them days
When i wanna be all alone
It's just one of them days
When i gotta be all alone
It's just one of them days
Don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone
And you think i treat you wrong

Verse 1:
I wanna take some time out to think things through
I know it always feels i'm doing you wrong
But i'm so in love with you
So understand that i'm only in love
You're the only one i need
So have no thought that i want to leave
And baby trust me please

Chorus:
It's just one of them days
That a girl goes through
When i'm angry inside
Don't wanna take it out on you
Just one of them things
Don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone
And you think i treat you wrong

Don't take it personal
Baby, baby, baby, baby ,baby
Don't take it personal

Verse 2:
I sit and i think about everything we do
And i find myself in misery and that ain't cool
Hey now, I really wanna be with you the whole way through
But the way you make me feel inside leaves confused
As i swing back mood to mood it's not because of you
I never want you to be insecure
So won't you understand that i'm only in love you're the only one i need
I'll be there for you when you need me boy
So baby don't still leave


Chorus:
Just one of them days
That a girl goes through
When i'm angry inside
Don't wanna take it out on you
Just one of them things
Don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone
And you think i treat you wrong

Chorus:
Just one of them days (Just one of them days)
That a girl goes through
When i'm angry inside
I don't wanna take it out on you
Just one of them things
Don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone
And you think i treat you wrong

Don't take it personal
Baby, baby, baby, baby ,baby
Don't take it personal

Don't take it personal, yeah
Don't take it personal

Chorus:
Just one of them days (Just one of them days)
A girl goes through
When i'm angry inside
Don't wanna take it out on you
Just one of them things
Don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone
And you think i treat you wrong

Don't take it personal baby, personal baby, personal baby
personal baby, personal baby, personal baby, personal baby
personal babay

Just one of them days

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Melt my heart to stone

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Make you feel my love

Last verse is really something.
Click readmore for lyrics

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love

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Stuck in the middle

lyrics

I sit and think about the day that you're gonna die,
'Cause your wrinkled eyes betrayed the joy with which you smiled.
Care to see my reason?
Care to put your life in mine?
Looking at life from the perspective of a boy
Who's learnt to love you but has also learned to grow.
Could we make it better, stormy weather?
So I dunno.

Oh, oh, oh - Is there anybody home?
Who will believe me, won't deceive me, who'll try to change me?
Ah, ah, ah - Is there anybody home?
Who wants to have me, just to love me?
Stuck in the middle.

I look at you,
You look at me,
We bite each other.
And with your better words you kick me in the gutter.
But my troops are bigger than yours
'Cause you'll never stand my fight.
Ours is a family that's based upon tradition
But with my careless words I tread upon your vision.
Are five kids better than one, who'd busy like to be gone?

Oh, oh, oh - Is there anybody home?
Who'll believe me, won't deceive me, who'll try to change me?
Ah, ah, ah - Is there anybody home?
Who wants to have me, just to love me?
Stuck in the middle.
Yeah...Yeah...Yeah...

This is to my name,
This ain't a pretty plan to break your heart of me.
I know that what I've started means that when we have parted
I can live in honesty.

Oh, oh, oh - Is there anybody home?
Who'll believe me, won't deceive me, who'll try to change me?
Ah, ah, ah - Is there anybody home?
Who wants to have me, just to love me?
Stuck in the middle,
Stuck in the middle,
Stuck in the middle,
Stuck in the middle

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half-heartedly

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Future pad

I want my crib to look like this when I have a house. It would be sickkkkkk.

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A friend is a four letter word

Lyrics

to me, coming from you,
friend is a four letter word.
end is the only part of the word
that i heard.
call me morbid or absurd.
but to me, coming from you,
friend is a four letter word.


to me, coming from you,
friend is a four letter word.
end is the only part of the word
that I heard.
call me morbid or absurd.
but to me, coming from you,
friend is a four letter word.


when I go fishing for the words
i am wishing you would say to me,
i'm really only praying
that the words you'll soon be saying
might betray the way you feel about me.


but to me, coming from you,
friend is a four letter word.

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My life according to Colorgenics

Name: karl
Date: 10/5/2009
Colorgenics Number: 65204371


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You appreciate the better things of life and you don't particularly want to strive in order to achieve them. What a pity you were not born into the Gentry with servants, etc. Unfortunately - life is not like that. You have the ability to be whatever it is that you would like to be but you must make the effort.

You are a fighter and always on the defensive. You always need to be sure that your position is safe and established. When you finally make a decision you will pursue it to the bitter end in spite of all opposition.

You are trying to break away from the mundane existence that you have been experiencing of late. You have many high hopes and ideals but you are concerned whether circumstances will allow you to realise these ambitions. You want to spread your wings - to broaden your fields of activities - but you are concerned that your dreams are just that - 'dreams' which are not realistic. It concerns you that you are not thinking clearly at this time - what you need is to get away from it all, to give you time to think. A short vacation could well restore your confidence.

You are feeling really bogged down and extremely stressed. This is perhaps due to the desire for personal independence which has been evading you for some time now. An existing situation or relationship is causing you to be extremely restless and you feel that you are unable to change the situation without co-operation. You are unwilling to expose your vulnerability and therefore you consider it inadvisable to display affection or be over demonstrative. You regard this relationship as a depressing tie, but although you want to be independent and unhampered, you do not want to risk losing anything. All this leads you to react touchily and with impatience, while the urge to get away results in considerable restlessness: your ability to concentrate may suffer.

Circumstances are such that you have been exposed to considerable stress and tension, perhaps due to unfulfilled emotional needs. You would like nothing better than to escape from it all by retiring to some 'fantasy land' where you are permitted to RELAX and get back your strength.


Pretty accurate

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This makes me happy

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I wanna go back

Do you remember (ooh)
How we'd gather 'round and sing all day? (ooh)
I wanna go back (go back...ooh)
To playing basketball and football games
I wanna go back (go back...ooh)
To yesterday but it's not the same

I think this songs speaks out to a lot of us that recently got kicked in the ass by the big foot of reality. I know for me it does. Everyone was so easy and chill back then. Go to school and fool around. Even though we dreaded the hours we slaved in school, we wouldn't get out of school til 4, haha. Afterwards we just kick it in our home away from home, the cage. Where we need no mat because we got 10 foot stairway to heaven by skateboards while miko is tagin the backboard kind of love, yeah I don't know what was trying to say back there, i was trying to pull off a francis. As our days turn into nights, each night we dine in Wendy's. That's where we wasted countless hours of trivia, art attack by salt, hey lawrence can you refill my cup? kind of love, and eating that snack attack with lettuce, mayo, ketchup, bbq sauce, and endless amounts of tissue. We probably destroyed a whole jungle.

I must say, once I knew my new life was going to start, I didn't think I'd like it. I like it, but I don't enjoy it. Does that make any sense? Let me break it down for you. It's like going to high school. You like it because you see all your friends and students you see everyday. But you don't enjoy it because most of the time you're in class doing work; you'd rather be skipping with your friends playing pool at king's clubhouse while eating sushi from sushi train. Anyways, I like it, but I'm still unsatisfied. Like something is missing. Everything is good for me. School I'm doing alright. Family has never been this close, ever. Friends are there for me even though you don't see them as much anymore, they're still my friends. I've been so busy lately with so many things, yet in the back of my mind theres this unsatisfaction. It's just another thing to solve.

But yeah, I'm nostalgic.

Hey, yeah the one reading this, have you noticed that I use songs as the way I feel or think? Well, lets just say, I'm too timid to show/tell how I feel so I let songs(other people) express it for me. Anyways, enjoy the song and click readmore for lyrics.

PS. remind me to do something artistic or adventurous or something out of the ordinary

Oh yeah, yeah I love John Legend. He's the best.

Oh do you remember (ooh)
When the family was everything? (ooh)
Oh do you remember? (ooh)
It was so long ago and so much has changed (ooh)
I wanna go back (go back...ooh)
Wanna go back to those simple days (ooh)
I wanna go back (go back...ooh)
But now we've grown and gone our separate ways

(aah)
Times is hard (times is hard)
And things are a changin'
I pray to God
That we can remain the same
All I'm trying to say is our love don't have to change
No it don't have to change

Do you remember (ooh)
Back at Grannie's house on Christmas Day? (ooh)
Help me sing...
Do you remember (ooh)
How we'd gather 'round and sing all day? (ooh)
I wanna go back (go back...ooh)
To playing basketball and football games
I wanna go back (go back...ooh)
To yesterday but it's not the same

Times is hard (times is hard)
And things are a changin'
I pray to God
That we can remain the same
All I'm trying to say is our love don't have to change
No it don't have to change

Times is hard (times is hard)
And things are a changin'
So I pray to God
That we can remain the same
All I'm trying to say is our love don't have to change
No it don't have to change

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All the fellas if you feel me, help me sing it out

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Each day gets better

Ooooohhh...

Where do we go who knows
But each day gets better
I just can't let her go
(oh, oh no)
Each kiss gets sweeter
I just can leave her no

I'll write a song
I thought about it for far to long
But I Never had someone to sing about
Until I meet her and each days get better
Nobody knows
Nobody sees
Nobody else understands me like she
Now there I Know what true love means
I Just hope she stays with me

Where do we go who knows
But each day gets better
I just can't let her go
(oh, oh no)
Each kiss gets sweeter
I just can leave her no

She Wants to breathe
She wants to be where the grass is green
She wants to know how love supposed to be
She wants it better
I want you to let her know
She belongs right here with me
She's heard it all but I'll make her see
I make her fall
Make her believe
I promised her that I never leave

And where do we go who knows
But each day gets better
I just can't let her go
(oh, oh no)
Each kiss gets sweeter
I just can leave her no
Each kiss gets sweeter
I just can leave her no

I Just Had to write a song about her
Tell her I don't wanna leave without her
Tell her that I would build my world around her
Deeper and deeper
Sweeter and sweeter
I'll never leave her alone

And where do we go who knows
But each day gets better
I just can't let her go
(oh, oh no)
Each kiss gets sweeter
I just can leave her no

Each day gets better
I just can't let her go

Each day kiss gets sweeter
I just can't let her go

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Show me

Lyrics

realized as I lay down to sleep
We haven't spoke in weeks
So many things that I'd like to know
Come have a talk with me
I need a sign, something I can see
Why all the mystery?
I try not to fall for make believe
But what is reality?
Where do we go?
What do we know?
Life has to have a meaning
Show me the light
Show me the way
Show that you're listening

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

Guess it's funny how I say thanks to you
For all you've given me
Sometimes the price of what you gave to me
I can't stop questioning
O God of love, peace, and mercy
Why so much suffering?
I pray for the world, it gets worse to me
Wonder if you're listening
When people go
Why do they go?
Why don't you choose me?
But someday I know
I'm gonna go
I hope you're waiting for me

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

Maybe we'll talk
Some other night
Right now I'll take it easy
Won't spent my time
Waiting to die
Enjoy the life I'm living

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

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The one that got away

For the record, I got this from Sharie. Holla

The one that got away.
Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

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if i was your man

on repeat from am to pm..
Lyrics

mmmm yea yea yea yea ohh ohh
nanananana nanananananana
nanananananana
If i was your man, girl

girl im so tired of things
I just wanna settle down
I swear to you ive changed
baby I aint buggin out
I kno that I put you through hell
you deserve to be with someone else
but I gotta be straight up (straight up)
girl I just wanna kiss and make up (make up)
oo weve been through a lot of things
how do you throw that away
you were the heart of me
cant believe you let it break
tell me why you wont let him go
you can say what you want but I kno
baby no more lies
ima keep it real this time

help me understand what im saying
and get through
why i cant be your man when id give up the world for you
girl ill do the best I can
love you forever thats what ill do
if I was your man
if I was your man
if I was your man

got rid of everything
that I knew was hurting you
my hustling the streets
gave that up for you too
dont want nothing else in the way
I just wanna make sure that youll stay
baby no more lies
ima do it right this time

help me understand what im saying
and get through
why i cant be your man when id give up the world for you
girl ill do the best I can
love you forever thats what ill do
if I was your man
if I was your man

cant live without you anymore
baby I kno that youre worth fighting for
they say that youre still in love with me
in my arms is where you need to be
cant live without you anymore
baby I kno that youre worth fighting for
they say that youre still in love with me
in my arms is where you need to me

nanananana nanananananana nanananana
if I was your man if Iwas your man

help me understand what im saying
and get through
why i cant be your man when id give up the world for you
girl ill do the best I can
love you forever thats what ill do
if I was your man
if I was your man

help me understand what i'm saying
and get through
why I can't be your man when i'd give up the world for you
girl i'll do the best I can
love you forever that's what i'll do
if I was your man
if I was your man

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if i ever feel better

Depressing lyrics but it's so upbeat.
Lyrics

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all
I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that' s fading away

You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away
Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times
But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...

No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost
Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after all
Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't ewait, I can't wait, I can't wait...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know
If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away

Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how
They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive

I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

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if i fell

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21 guns

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New chapter

As days get shorter and nights get longer, I can't help but rememeber this summer. It's the last summer before I start school; a new life. The good, family bonding, hanging with friends, and meeting someone who has completely changed my summer. To the bad, the countless days of being trapped at home with extreme heat, questioning your friendships, questioning yourself, and the future. I know all I can do now is to look up and be positive. I question a lot of things in life, it may be my future, my friends, my family, even her. But you know what, I just need to stop thinking and just let it flow. What ever happens, happens. I just need to be focused and determined to make a change. I can no longer be this way or else it will affect my future, my goals, my family, friends, and those special ones. I know I'll be okay. I just need to keep my mind in ease. School may take a lot of my time up but there's always extra time. I'll make new friends, make new decisions in life, and basicly a new beginning. But I'll never forget the ones who has always been there for me, you know who you are. And for her, stoop, I'm trusting you. We need just to go with the flow and what ever happens, happens right? Weenis. Anyways, what I'm really trying to say is that I love you guys, my friends. And for my family, I love them also. I've never been this tight with my family before. I feel so grown up, haha. I don't know why I feel so sad at times even though I've got a good thing going on, it's just ridiculious. It's all in my head.. I got this, I know it.

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This time

Lyrics below

Ran into you yesterday
Memories rushed through my brain
It’s starting to hit me
Now you’re not with me
I realized I made a mistake
I thought I needed some space
But I just let love go to waste
It’s so crystal clear now
That I need you here now
I got to get you back today

[Chorus]
This time I want it all
This time I want it all
Showing you all the cards
Giving you all my heart
This time I’ll take the chance
This time I’ll be a man
I can be all you need
This time is all of me

I hit the bar every night
Looking to score a good time
It’s not like I planed it
We left empty handed
I’m still alone in my mind
Now what will it take to feel right
Can I come see you tonight?
Is there someone new now?
What can I do now?
Cuz I need you back by my side


[Chorus]
This time I want it all
This time I want it all
Showing you all the cards
Giving you all my heart
This time I’ll take the chance
This time I’ll be a man
I can be all you need
This time is all of me

Last time I wasn’t sure
This time I will give you more
I’m more mature
I’ll show you
Last time I didn’t know
I messed up and let you go
I need you, don’t say no
Lying alone in this room
All that is missing is you
Pick up the phone
Won’t you come home?

[Chorus]
This time I want it all
This time I want it all
Showing you all the cards
Giving you all my heart
This time I’ll take the chance
This time I’ll be a man
I can be all you need
This time is all of me

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whoa

Name: karl
Date: 8/31/2009
Colorgenics Number: 20173564


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you - putting up barriers, but don't be unduly concerned: you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.

You 'need to be needed'. As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors on all those within your sphere of influence.

You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offence.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.



Name: karl
Date: 9/7/2009
Colorgenics Number: 16342075


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don't like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being 'left out'. What you really need is perhaps some 'tender loving care'.

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.

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"She's your lobster"

Wish I had a lobster

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first day of my life

Pretty sweet song..

Lyrics below

This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me

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life should of came with a manual

Lately, I've been thinking about my future and visualizing what it would look like. A lot of people believe that I should go into some kind of art career. I don't think I have the capability to be sucessful in that. So I thought "hey maybe I should look into business and see what it offers." When I was down at San Fran visiting my relatives a few years ago, we talked about me and my future and what would make me happy. They said "screw following your heart, what would really make you happy is money." They have a point, but money can only go so far. I had a talk with an older friend earlier this week and he thought I'd be going to an art school taking art classes and all that mumbo jumbo. He was surprised that I was taking business because it's completely opposite from art. Then he lectured me about how following your heart will make you happy. He mentioned people like Passion, actors, and celebrities. Then he showed me a video about this professor who is diagnosed with I think several tumors? And this man, Randy Pausch, talks about following your childhood dreams. It's over an hour long video but it was truely moving and life changing. He tells us to achieve our careers and personal goals in life. So now I am questioning my future. I really can't see my self happy working a dead end job for the rest of my life. But I can't see my self in the arts field. What I really want is to own a company and manage it. A company that relates to art and culture and what nots. I know it sounds a little unorganized but I'm hoping my future will smooth out like peanut butter on toast bread. I'll be going to school in a few weeks and I hope that everything will turn out alright. I'm sad that I won't be able to see my friends at school like I used to but hopefully I can see them along the way. So to end my blog, I wanted to show the video. I know it's long but it's worth it. What are you doing anyways? You're just like me, home everyday on the computer doing nothing. Haha, no just joking. Anyways here it is.

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Notorious Gorillaz- The Notorious B.I.G & Gorillaz

I'm really lazy to blog, but I've been listening to a lot music, thought I'd share my stuff.

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MSTRKRFT - FRSHPRNCFBLR

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something

Weird, just listen and read the lyrics in readmore

Fallen too fast
Clearly rules don't apply
Can't believe that I just met you
You got me here
Watching minutes past by
Wondering when to express you
There you go
Is this a dream
Looking like every picture
That I seen of you before
I've seen it all before
Now that it's over. I shoulda known better

When you think this is real and
You could be mine
I should have known better
Slowed it down cause I feel
You needed time

But I kept thinking
This could be something
This could be something
This could be something
This could be
This could be
This could be something
This could be something
This could be something

Maybe it's just nothing at all
But this could be something
This could be something
This could be
This could be
This could be something
This could be something
This could be something

Maybe it's just nothing at all
At all... at all...
Maybe it's just nothing at all
At all... at all...

I guess it's what we make it

I guess it's what we make it

I guess it's what we...

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samuel mother fucking jackson

hell yeah

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love this isshhh

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Listen to the lyrics, Lyrics click Readmore

If you walk away I walk away
first tell me which road you will take
I don't want to risk our paths crossing someday
so you walk that way I'll walk this way

and the future hangs over our heads
and it moves with each current event
until it falls all around like a cold steady rain
just stay in when it's lookin' this way

and the moon's laying low in the sky
forcing everything metal to shine
and the sidewalk holds diamonds like a jewelry store case
they argue "walk this way," "no walk this way"

and laura's asleep in my bed
as I'm leaving she wakes up and says
"I dreamed you were carried away on the crest of a wave
baby don't go away, come here"

and there's kids playing guns in the street
and one's pointing his tree branch at me
So I put my hands up I say:
"Enough is enough,
If you walk away I walk away."
(and he shot me dead)

I found a liquid cure
for my landlocked blues
it will pass away
like a slow parade
it's leaving but I don't know how soon

and the world's got me dizzy again
you'd think after 22 years I'd be used to the spin
and it only feels worse when I stay in one place
so I'm always pacing around or walking away
I keep drinking the ink from my pen
and I'm balancing history books up on my head
but it all boils down to one quotable phrase
"If you love something give it away"
A good woman will pick you apart
a box full of suggestions for your possible heart
But you may be offended, and you may be afraid
but don't walk away, don't walk away

We made love on the living room floor
with the noise in the background from a televised war
And in the deafening pleasure I thought I heard someone say
"If we walk away,they’ll walk away"
But greed is a bottomless pit
And our freedom's a joke we're just taking a piss
And the whole world must watch the sad comic display
If you're still free start runnin' away
'cause we're comin' for ya!

I've grown tired of holding this pose
I feel more like a stranger each time I come home
So I'm making a deal with the devils of fame
Sayin' let me walk away, please
You'll be free child once you have died
from the shackles of language and measurable time
And then we can trade places, play musical graves
till then walk away walk away walk away walk away
So I'm up at dawn, putting on my shoes
I just want to make a clean escape
I'm leaving but I don't know where to
I know I'm leaving but I don't know where to

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Remember when...

K I was in shower when I was thinking about this.
Remember those old cartoon shows we used to watch when we were younger?
Like...







There were so many, just a few that I selected.
Man I miss those days. Just sitting as close to the tv as possible, finding your comfortable spot, and tuning into Ytv. Whatever happened to those days.. They're long gone.
WHEN DID LIFE GET SO REAL?

*Girl I'm for real.

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DASHAT Productions.

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hi

Whoa, i haven't blogged in forever. First it was the fact that after grad, there was too much to blog about. But now as summer slowly fades away, things are calming down. You can say my summer is average. Late summer nights, afternoon wake up from Mr Sun, and nothing to do for the rest of the day fun. I thought this summer was going to be different. But its the same old summer. Pretty depressing. I miss seeing everyone at JH, I hated class but seeing everyone was dope. I really hate all this registering and applying shit for post-secondary. I can't even take any art classes or photo class, strictly business, no more fun. But if you want to know about my grad, it was the best day of my life. It was the happiest and saddest moment in my life, so far. Anyways.....

On another note..
I feel stupid for trying. Just wanted to know you better. Just wanted to be friends. No no, I'm lying. I lied to you. We're not on the same page. I was interested in you. But the more I think of it, the more I realize how this can't work. I'm sorry for even trying, for wasting your valuable time. You know what, this is stupid. Fuck this. Whatever take it or leave it.

*oh yeah I almost broke my jaw, but whatever.

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Pregraduation

WOW.....Its been a great 5 years, wasn't it? It's just kicking in right now that I'm graduating. I know tomorrow night, it will be fully recognizable that highschool is over and where "real world" starts.

Let's see...
Let's go back in time just for a second.
I still remember my first day of elementary school. I was shitting bricks infront the whole class. I remember the teacher, Ms Taylor, introducing me to the class and I was hiding behind my mom asking her to buy me a burger at Burger King LOL. And I think I soiled my self a little that time. Then I came home and what do you know, some girl from my class phoned my house and started talking to me. She had a huge crush on me LOL. It was so awkward because where I was living currently was tiny and everyone was in the same room listening to me talk to her. So awkward. I started blushing really hard and was getting all warm. I used to be soo spoiled. Well.. I still am. I used to cry/beg for toys I want such as Legos, Pokemon Cards, and other childhood toys.

Then lets skip a few grades because I totally forgot what happened.
K grade 5, First crush/gf. LOL, Alex Rausher. Wow, I just remember us not talking at all when we were together. We should just shyly look at each other in class. Can't believe we lasted that long though. Then grade 5 was Nikki V. Which was Alex R's best friend at that time. Which is weird! First kiss was from her LOL. Then grade 7 was my first love, Marion. Which was Nikki's best friend at the time, which was awkwardddd. But we had the best time. 26 months. Wow.





Then Highschool. First day I had lunch with Cas Parto, my first friend from JH, and we're still friends! I called her and she was like you'll spot me I'm that really short girl in front of the school. LOL, I couldn't believe it at first but size don't matter. She still had a big heart. We ate at McDees. And we were late for class already haha. All of us chilled at one spot of the school, Orca Lane. So much shit happened there like fights. Good times! Thats where I meet my bros. IC, Miko, Joel. Joel was gay, he asked me everyday who I liked. Miko is like a bro to me. I can go to him with any problem I have. I don't care if he doesn't solve it, I just need someone to listen. And IC, that faggot, he moved to Edmonton 2 years ago. But we still had an amazing time because we were family friends. We were always together. When I first met him, I couldn't stop laughing because his laugh was so contagious. Haha, listening to it in my heads makes me laugh a little. Then I met Nygel in a family party, I got close with Stanley in Socials. Jermsauce we just slowly got to know each other well enough to be bros. Keanu, "nice meeting you" haha. I got to know him from Miko and we had duo bike ride together. "NO HOMO." haha good times. King, wow, I'm glad you moved to Jh and we had lots of fun playing pool thats where we all bonded and chilled. Francis, shoot, since... grade 5? I remember you sucking ass in BBall, and I stuffed you first time we played ball, haha. But now.. holy, you practised really hard and I guess practise does make perfect, you are living proof. I hope all of you the best in your lives. I know all of you will succeed. I know we'll all keep in touch. Just don't forget about each other. Lets have the best night of our lives. Live it up. No homo but I'm holding back tears.

I had my phases haha. From Hardcore basketball dedication for the love of the game love. To bruised shins, cuts, and hardcore anger skater. And in between namma hair, hardcore cs gamer, and wanting to be hardcore. LOL. I think I've found my place. I've become more responsible, wiser, and just older. No regrets whats so ever. Aight yo, I think it's time for me to get my sleep, I got a big day tomorrow. I'll be taking pictures and will be posting them on BS x Facebook x Twitter.




Grad 09!

Word Count: 741. lol

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