The other day, I told my mom that I didn't want a wife. I just want a dog and a loft or something. She got so mad at me because she wants grandchildren. I laughed first, but she was really hurt from it lol.

Maybe it's just me or maybe I've been feeling that I feel a lot happier not trying to pursue someone. I'm probably at that stage of life. Or maybe I've been through so much shit that I feel that it's not even worth fighting for anymore because it never works out..? I've become a bitter person to myself and to others. I either judge myself or the other person to analyze if we would match, based on assumptions and appearance. For example, I see some hot ass asain chick, and instantaneously I think she's hot, but at the same time there's no point to pursue her since (here comes my assumptions) probably a gold digger, high maintenance, whatever shit I can come up with. Or, I actually find someone I'm interested in only to doubt myself because of the current lifestyle I live or whatever. I know, it's a terrible thing.

But at this point, I don't even care. I just want to enjoy life. So maybe I should find someone to enjoy the ride, this ride has two seats ;). But I know my emotions will get the best of me. I don't even know. ugh screw this.. I'm done I shouldn't even have wrote this. fuckaskdhaksjdhjkadhiuadiuyeyouuuuu